Thursday, April 8, 2010

The Science and Biology of Bullfighting

© 2010 Albert A Rasch and
The Rasch Outdoor Chronicles
$g&m f9bd 45kd q!?5.

"Bullfighting is the only art in which the artist is in danger of death and in which the degree of brilliance in the performance is left to the fighter's honour."
Ernest Hemingway

I can't think of anything more contentious than the noble art of bullfighting as practiced in Spain, Portugal, and Mexico.

My mother happens to love it, while my wife hates it with a passion she usually reserves for lawyers and her ex-husband. My father could care less, while I think it's so freaking awesome that I would like to try it with my Wranglers and a white, Egyptian cotton dress shirt on!

All the animal rights talk I bump into somehow got me thinking about why we do some of the things we do. I mean, if you think about it, we as a species and men in particular, do some pretty wacky things. Take bungie jumping for instance. Who in their right mind wants to swan dive off of anything with giant rubber bands wrapped around their ankles? Obviously a whole bunch of people do, including those guys in Papua New Guinea who do it with vines. Why do people get tattoos? Or for that matter, piercings? Why do I use a 458WM when a 308 is readily available? Why is there Spring Break?

Face it, it's the girls!

I don't care who it is, where he lives, what he preaches or practices, in the end it usually all boils down to getting the girl.

Give that some contemplation for a moment if you please.  There is not one of you that can not bring to mind something so totally stupid, that either you did or you witnessed, on account of a girl! (Depending on where you were standing, you might have been the recipient and or unwitting participant of such a demonstration...)

And girls dig the guy that best fits in with her vision of good genetics or studliness. And guys, in their imminent wisdom, are perpetually screwing things up, getting hurt, botching things, or otherwise making complete and total fools of themselves on a regular basis. It doesn't help that we are also as transparent as fresh cleaned plate glass, and denser too.

But we have an innate instinctual desire to procreate. There might be the exception here and there, but usually we want to procreate and procreate often! So as the levels of testosterone rise in a linear fashion, mental capacity diminishes exponentially. For you mathematicians you will recognize that it is an inverse equation. This is frequently exacerbated by short skirts, high heels, and alcohol. Sometimes cut off jean shorts, hiking boots, a flannel shirt, and a 1911 will elicit the same reaction, as will everyday work clothes on occasion. The point is that men's simple minds really don't care very much sometimes...

Now what does this have to do with Bullfighting, you ask.

Photo Credit: Chema Consellon
Think about it. Who in their right mind would stand in front of a pretty pissed off bull, dressed in sequins and tights, waving a cape around?

Bullfighters do. And 99% of all bullfighters are what?

Male. See what I mean?

But we got reasons for it. You take for instance, Fran Rivera who was married for a few years to Eugenia Martinez de Irujo, the Duchess of Alba’s daughter. From the male perspective, she was pretty damn hot. To say nothing of her wealth and the prestige that comes with title and lots of ducats in the bank. So if Fran's bull fighting prowess had been less than exemplary, it's doubtful that the Duchess' daughter would have even noticed him. You gotta be a bad-ass in your own area of operations!

Guys pay big money to look good. Notice the uniforms of the Matador. No Bird of Paradise looks as resplendent!  Oh and by the way, Fran's matador outfit was designed by Armani!

It helps to have courage; I dare anyone to stand in a ring with a wild bull. And wild they are; they are bred and raised on huge preserves. Left to fend for themselves, they are a line of bulls well known for their tenacity and courage. (Actually there are four lines.) Their origins may be from the wild bulls from the Iberian Peninsula. Others state that they may have come from the Arab bulls of the Moorish conquest. It is also said that many went to the Roman Empire for the Colosseum games. So when you're fighting 1200 pounds of ferocity, you have 'em big and bad, and brother, girls dig it!

What I see when I view a bullfight is a man standing in for all men, showing what skill, fortitude, and courage can accomplish.

 Oops!!! That's gonna leave a mark!

Or, then again,  maybe he's just showing off so they can get the babes...

Albert A Rasch
Member: Bagram Tent Club
Member: Hunting Sportsmen of the United States HSUS (Let 'em sue me.)
The Hunt Continues...

The Rasch Outdoor Chronicles


Bob said...

The girls are important, true, but the main reason so many young boys in Spain and other bullfighting countries take up the art is financial: it's one of the few ways for a semi-literate peasant to escape rural Spain's chronic poverty. It's similar to ghetto kids here in the US trying to escape by becoming basketball players.

Phillip said...

It's all about las chicas.

What's the line? "Pain heals. Chicks dig scars."

Bion said...

I suspect that with a name like "Fran", you would be in the same boat as a guy named "Sue"....

LSP said...

Albert, that was a great post! Cheers.

Wild Ed said...

We all get the stupids and it can cost us dearly. I called in some Tom Turkeys the other day and they paid the ultimate price for being stupid. They were all dressed up, strutting and gobbling for the girls and it cost them the ultimate sacrifice. They will be great on the grill.
Wild Ed's Texas Outdoors

Doug said...

Great post Albert. I never considered bullfighting. Martial Arts, boxing,Lots of dumb things - but usually it was all about the ladies -

Now I am resplendent with scars and replacement teeth.